comparison is the thief of joy

Hi everyone,

Welcome to the fourth episode of the Pick Me Up Podcasts. I am excited to share today’s episode with you as I truly believe that if you apply the tools I share it can have an immediate impact on how you feel. Comparison is something that we all experience, and even more so as a Mum, so let’s look at the ways we can deal with this to have a more positive impact on our life.

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Transcript Of Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy

I’m Emma, founder of Personal Development Time and host of the pick me up podcast: the perfect go to for a quick but effective pick me up at the times when you need it most. Designed for mums with their needs in mind!

New episodes are released every Wednesday and I look forward to sharing them with you, so be sure to subscribe to be notified! Enjoy, and thanks for listening.

This episode is super short, quick but effective, with the idea being that you could pick it up daily if you find yourself needing to be reminded of some simple tools that you can use to deal with all the emotions that come with being a Mum.

So today’s topic is all about comparison. Something that we can definitely all say we have been guilty of at some point, but something I think becomes even more prevalent as a mum. I find if I am having a day when I’m feeling unsettled, or uncertain of how well I’m doing as a mum I can almost guarantee that it’s down to seeing or hearing something about what somebody else is doing and wondering if I should be doing that, or if my baby should be at that point by now too.

It’s crazy isn’t it! We are all unique humans but we expect ourselves to somehow all be the same?

Comparison is most definitely the thief of joy, and it can bring with it feelings such as anxiety, stress and depression.

So my aim is to share some key things that you can implement immediately throughout your day that can have a huge impact. These are all things that I have been exposed to before through the resources I have had available to me whilst on my own personal development journey, or through my own experience.

One of the key things I am always aware of and would definitely recommend to others is being mindful of who you are spending your time with. Ask yourself: “Are these people lifting you up, do they take a genuine interest in your life?” Be sure to be spending your time with the people who help you to feel like you’re enough. One quote that sticks in my mind after all these years is by one of my favourite personal development mentors Jim Rohn, and that is “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with” That’s incredibly powerful when you think about it isn’t it.

Another thing I have tried myself, and something I am very much still working on is to stop mindlessly scrolling, and yes, I am of course talking about social media. How many times have you daydreamed about what you will accomplish when the little one naps, to then put them down, grab your cuppa and find before you know it they have woken again and you are left feeling frustrated because you haven’t actually achieved anything other than looking through Facebook or Instagram for example. Yup. That has been me several times. I am not only left feeling frustrated though at my lack of achievement, I am also feeling guilty, or inadequate, or somewhat deflated because I have spent my time comparing myself to what I have seen of others on social media. The key here is to be mindful, so it is about consciously choosing what you will look at, when you will look at it and more importantly how much time you will spend on it. Social media definitely has its benefits, especially when you’re a mum and are looking for a community of other mums to share questions, ideas etc with. But it is so easy to lose track of time and be left at the end of it comparing ourselves to others, feeling inadequate, questioning our actions. I would go as far as saying that if there are accounts that you follow that give you this feeling, simply click the unfollow button. I know I have had to do this throughout my time, and that doesn’t mean they are bad people, it just means I am not in a place where I want to constantly see the good side that they chose to portray. We are so quick to judge other people’s lives from a glimpse that we may see on social media or from what people chose to tell us/portray, but that doesn’t mean that is the reality. It is merely our perception, and a side that they are allowing to be broadcasted. Just as someone is sharing all the good things that they have in their life, it’s important to remember that there will be other things going on in the background that you have absolutely no idea about and they will also be fighting their own battle, albeit silently (as many of us do.)

We can also make a huge difference if we recognise that no one is perfect. This really is something we would all do so well to remember: Not only that others aren’t perfect (and neither are their lives), but also that we aren’t either. As soon as we come to realise that it is OK to be imperfect we can take all the unnecessary stress and pressure off of ourselves. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses, so whilst somebody may be portraying their strength and we may not be very good at this particular thing, we will also find that we are good at things that others aren’t. As I try to juggle working life with mum life, letting go of perfection is something I am working on a lot at the moment, as I can see what a huge difference it can make. Watch out for a podcast coming very soon on how to let go of perfection, I honestly think it’s a game changer.

My final but huge action which we can also take which will make a massive difference to how we feel is to be Proud. As soon as we can feel proud for what we are creating, what we have achieved and all that we have become it takes away any need to compare ourselves. And after all, we have all done a pretty amazing thing of becoming parents and there will be so many opportunities that we can and absolutely should feel proud of. So if you do nothing else today, please take a moment to recognise just a few things you have accomplished, whether it be today or since that moment you held your baby in your arms for the first time that you should absolutely feel proud of.

So there you have it, a few simple but effective tools that you can put in place whenever you find that you’re comparing yourself to others.

So here’s to standing tall and feeling proud of the amazing mummies that you all are.

Sending love, as always.

It has been great to connect with you

Thanks for stopping by, I hope that you found it useful. Please feel free to share any comments or questions you have below, and if you have any requests of topics you’d like to hear then I would love to know.

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