I think that it would be fair to say that I have most definitely found it challenging finding a balance in life since becoming a mum. I mean, it’s inevitable isn’t it: You go from having nobody else to really worry about (other than the dog and the fish, ok, let’s stick the other half in there too). But you know what I mean, you are fairly care free pre-children, but once they come in to the equation you don’t even manage to finish a cuppa, or go to the toilet in peace anymore. So I guess expecting to find a balance initially may be a little unrealistic, but I feel like there certainly does come a time when you need to sit down and have a word with yourself, with the aim to bring things back in line a little. Infact, I think there are several times you may need to do this, and I guess they come at different points for everybody. But right now, I am at one of those times, so I thought I’d share my experiences and my journey in the hope that it may be of benefit to some of you that may be feeling similar to me.
The journey in to motherhood
Wow, what a journey it is! Nobody can ever prepare you can they. It’s like a whirlwind, and although everybody tells you it goes fast and you know that you need to be in the moment as much as possible, it is scary to really experience just how fast it goes. What do they say: “The days are long but the years are short!” Well I definitely already feel like I’m experiencing that just 18months in. Honestly, I can’t say that I have found the transition in to being a mum the easiest, I mean it takes a crazy amount of adjusting right! And I’ve gone from everything being focused around career and how much protein I’m getting a day to everything being about how many dirty nappies I’ve changed or how many ounces of milk I’m making. I wouldn’t change it for the world (hence second baby on the way), but it is only now that I am starting to feel like I can adjust to my new way of life and work out how everything can fit in together.
The reality of lockdown
So as I have shared on my about me page, Personal Development Time was born in lockdown, which I am so incredibly grateful for. However, there were also many other things that were born (as I am sure many can relate to), one of which was very poor mental health. I think it would be fair to say that I have definitely been juggling dealing with my mental health during this time, and a lot of it has been down to the inability to get out of the house with a very active and energetic toddler, being distanced from many friends and family who are my support network (therefore leaving me feeling like I don’t really have one), pregnancy hormones (now they’ve got a lot to answer for haven’t they!), feeling uncertain about what lies ahead and generally trying to achieve too much at once (I have this habit of things I can achieve all of those things that I’d need to be superwomen to actually do- well we can all dream right!)
The impact of a lack of balance
I don’t know about you but feeling like I am living life out of balance definitely gives me an uneasy feeling throughout the day. I often know that something isn’t quite right but in chasing my tail I don’t feel like I can break that viscious cycle that I’m in despite desperately wanting to. This ultimately leads to me feeling stressed, anxious, fed up and pretty low. This then means that I don’t end up giving my best with anything I am doing and just do a good job of piling a whole load of pressure and guilt on myself.
Second time round
So as some of you may know, we are due our second baby in a few weeks. If I am not careful I could allow this to be another pressured fuelled time, feeling like I don’t have enough time for everything and generally just running myself ragged until baby arrives. But something inside of me is really resisting this and saying “it absolutely does not need to be like this”.Naturally second time around you feel that bit more prepared and feel like you know what to expect more, which is definitely helpful. But that said, this is yet another change for us to work through as we move from a family of 4 (you should know by know that the Dog is included in that), so a family of 5.
Now admittedly this thought has got the better of me in recent weeks, as I honestly feel like I can’t even catch my breath at times, so Its inevitably left me wondering how on earth I will manage with 2 little ones and achieve everything else I’m trying to do.
It was only in a recent night away from everything that I realised just how much pressure I put on myself and how I had been solely focusing on business and being a mum, but had totally neglected me, my relationship and friendships. Of course, it’s not possible to be everything to everybody but sometimes you need to keep the other plates spinning too right!
Where do we go from here?
Now couldn’t feel like a better time to reset and refresh. I know that life is ultimately like juggling balls, but I think I may have dropped a few too many recently and haven’t picked them back up. I do feel like I’ve battled with myself in this area for a while now, but honestly, I don’t think I’ve been ready to take the steps for whatever reason. Which I think is absolutely fine!
So for the next month I will be stepping away from putting the pressure on myself to blog every single week and create new content. Instead, I will focus on building a log of work so that I can continue to hopefully support all the amazing mummies that support me when we have our baby. You can of course follow me on social media on my Instagram or Facebook accounts where I will still be active, and refer back to any of my previous blogs or podcasts which I hope you find helpful. But I can also confirm that nesting has well and truly kicked in, so I will be taking this time to scrub all of those areas that you didn’t even know needed scrubbing in the home, spending some quality time with Little Bear whilst it is just us, and enjoying some guilt free evenings, nap times and lie ins getting some much needed rest before our next little adventure begins.
I really hope you have enjoyed following my journey in to motherhood and all things related to that around personal development. I have some super exciting projects that I am currently working on to bring your way over the next couple of months, and I am really looking forward to sharing this next chapter with you.
As always, I love to hear your comments, and if you have anything that you’d like to see around personal development for Mums that I have not yet covered then please do let me know.
Sending love, as always!