It’s definitely fair to say that we have all been guilty of comparing ourselves to others at some point, and with the added pressure that social media creates, it is extremely hard not to. But if we continue to allow ourselves to travel that path, it is one that is set to be riddled with anxiety, stress, pressure and even depression. So let’s look at the answer to the question that so many of us are asking: How to stop comparing yourself with others?
We have tried to share with you the key things that we feel if implemented in to our daily life can have the biggest impact. They are all things that we have tried ourselves, some we have managed to do more successfully than others (Emma is still working on the mindlessly scrolling point), but all of which we recognise as being key steps that can be put in place to stop comparing yourself with others.
Stop mindlessly scrolling
How many times do you find yourself losing track of time and mindlessly scrolling through social media feeling envious of others and feeling like your life is seriously lacking as a result? Studies show that spending time on social media can increase depression and decrease well-being. So why do we allow ourselves to do it? It is like a drug isn’t it, it’s addictive. Now we are not saying that we need to completely come off all social media accounts and they don’t have their uses and benefits but the key is to be mindful: Consciously choose what you will look at, when you will look and more importantly how much time you will spend on it.
“The grass is always greener” is definitely a well-known phrase, and is something we are all guilty of feeling at some point. The truth is though, how many times is that the case? We are always quick to look at the things that aren’t right in our lives or are falling short of our expectations but what about taking time to recognise what is going well and what we feel thankful for. A great habit to get in to is to practice gratitude on a daily basis. This could be as part of your journaling, or perhaps something you do when you first open your eyes, or before you go to bed at night. Whenever you choose to do it, find a time that works for you and commit to doing it every day, then, just watch the magic happen!
Choose your company wisely
They say that you are the sum of the 5 people that you spend your time with. So who are you spending your time with? Do these people lift you up, or are they quick to brag about what they have? Do they take a genuine interest in your life, or do they spent their time comparing against you. Be sure to be spending your time with the people who help and encourage you to feel that you are enough, that you have enough and that …
You don’t know what goes on behind closed doors
We are so quick to judge other people’s lives from a glimpse that we may see on social media or from what people chose to tell us/portray, but that doesn’t mean that is the reality. It is merely your perception, and a side that they are allowing to be broadcast. Just as someone is sharing all the good things that they have in their life (which by the way you should feel happy for them about), remember that there will be other things going on in the background that you have no idea about and they will also be fighting their own battle, albeit silently (as many of us do.)
Align with your values
It is so important to not get swayed by others and to keep things simple: As long as you are living, or working towards living your life in line with your values, that should be your priority. It is so easy to get attracted by the fanciness in others lives, but if this actually doesn’t fit with us and our life it ultimately will not bring us happiness. (Which is a topic in itself, as happiness is an inside job)
Be proud! This fits in really nice with making sure you are aligned to your values, but also to confidence. As soon as we can feel proud for what we are creating, what we have achieved and all that we have become it takes away any need to compare ourselves and feel there is more to be gained from following other people’s journey of life.
No-one is perfect
This is something we would all do really well to remember: Not only that others aren’t perfect (and neither are their lives), but also that we aren’t perfect. As soon as we come to realise that it is OK to be imperfect we can take all the unnecessary stress and pressure off of ourselves. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses, so whilst somebody may be portraying their strength and we may not be very good at this particular thing, we will also find that we are good at things that others aren’t.
An instant path to happiness
Now we are not saying that this solves everything, and all of a sudden you will wake up tomorrow and feel instantly happy. Firstly recognising where happiness comes from is a massive step, but it definitely cannot be denied that if we can start the journey and stop comparing ourselves with others it will have a huge impact on our emotional wellness, and in turn can have a huge benefit to our physical wellness too.
Perhaps this is something that you have recognised yourself doing and maybe you have even tried some of the above steps. If so, we would love to hear how you got on with it. If you are just getting started then be sure to share with us what you plan to take away and put in to practice, then head back to let us know how you are getting on.
Here’s to you, and your journey.