Welcome to the first episode of season 3 of the Pick Me Up Podcasts. Today’s episode is all about living with intention, and how this can help with feeling likE yourself again outside of being a Mum. This includes a plan around bringing this into life, as well as some top tips.
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Transcript of Let’s Be Intentional
If I told you that you could create extra pockets of time in your day that you didn’t realise you had, and that you could feel like you’re achieving more balance in your life, therefore meaning that you would feel better about yourself and feel more like you again, would I pique your interest?
So today we are talking about living intentionally. Quite honestly, if you can do this you will watch not only how differently you feel, and how much better you feel, but also the impact that it has on your day to day life and your outlook. I am recording this at the start of the year, but you can pick it up whenever you may be listening throughout the year. If for example, you start this in January and then you go about your year in this way you’ll be amazed when you look back at the end of the year at what a huge difference it has made.
I feel really strongly about living intentionally. And you can take from this whatever being intentional looks like for you, but living with intention means that we take our life off autopilot, meaning we go about setting ourselves up: Our days, weeks and months for how we want to live. Now for some of us in the thick of motherhood, setting goals such as 6 months, 12 months, sometimes even 3 months from now can feel huge and it can feel like we just can’t see that point at the minute. Maybe that’s because you’re in the depths of not getting any sleep, or just living by routines of the baby or children, and it can feel like you can’t see past that, and what I want to say at this point is, that’s okay. In season 1 I recorded an episode titled this phase shall pass, and it will pass, so if you can’t see past that right now then don’t worry about that. it may also be a case of, you’ve felt stuck for so long where you’re currently at, that you can’t quite see a way through that yet. But you might just be able to see how you can go about getting through the next day for example, and that’s where living intentionally can start beautifully.
I love a good motivational quote and one of the ones I am always referring to when I’m feeling slightly stuck with where I’m currently at is “You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” by Martin Luther king
So to begin this, a really good thing to think about is, how do you want to feel and what do you need to go about doing in order to feel that way. Now they only have to be small things, because remember it’s just about what you can do that next day.
Therefore, because it’s what you could just do the next day, these will be the smaller things that will help you to build momentum and confidence that might then help you to take bigger steps that you feel you need to take. So it could be as simple as going to bed earlier in the evening (and I say simple, but I’m also a Mum, I know that you probably think about getting some sleep as soon as you’re up in the morning, but before you know it, the kids have finally gone down, and you’re scrolling through social media or watching an episode on Netflix to try and get a bit of “me time” then, that early night ended up never happening. Well hopefully, by listening to my episodes, or downloading my free guide, which you can access in the show notes you won’t feel quite so desperate to get that “me time”, as you’re consciously creating it in any other ways.
Anyway, back to the example; By setting the intention of going to bed earlier, that might then lead you onto bigger things such as getting up earlier in the mornings, to then getting some exercise in before the children wake. Now both of which, you couldn’t see how was even possible when you were in the thick of it, but because you’ve been taking the small steps, you’re feeling better, feeling more positive, and it doesn’t feel like it’s so far away because you’ve already took some steps to get closer to it. I will happily share a personal example of this with you to help you see this a little clearer, Since having the children I have really struggled with creating any sort of exercise routine. I then signed up to a 21 day challenge in December with a view to dropping a few pounds, kickstarting my fitness journey again, and most importantly having some accountability along the way, because I have come to realise that accountability is a key ingredient for my success for anything that I am trying to do. Maybe thats the good school girl in me coming out again? Anyway, as part of this challenge we were encouraged to look at our daily steps as our part of our exercise. Now, for someone that used to teach several high intensity classes each week, trained most days and was always on the go, this seemed too small of a task, but, I wasn’t anywhere near that right now right. So I had to let that go and find acceptance with that (that is another episode in itself, so look out for that one coming soon). What I soon realised was just how low my daily steps actually were, so although I was busy with the children all day, the steps weren’t amounting to anything substantial. Initially, I must admit, I didn’t see how I could increase this much more around my commitments and the children. However, just 6 weeks down the line, I have now doubled my daily average steps. But, not just that, I have also been working out 3 x per week each week this year so far. Something that definitely wasn’t on my radar, because I couldn’t see how I could ever manage to fit that in before. So how did I get to this point? Because I made it a priority (but that’s not as simple as saying “From now on, I am going to make sure I exercise”, it’s a combination of things, which I will cover in this episode but also throughout this season, and in my guide too.) And I started off small, each morning making my steps my intention. I then started to feel great from doing more, it contributed to me losing weight and feeling better about myself too, it gave me a little spring in my step, and I felt proud of achieving something I set my mind to, and so, the benefits spiralled. Before I knew it I was getting back into my exercise sessions without even needing to give it too much thought. Now admittedly, it has to be an intention. But, this is all part of feeling like me, which as we know, is easy to put to the bottom of the pile (the whole reason behind my work, this podcast, my guide and my Ebook 5 steps To Feeling Like you Again). So I hope in sharing this with you it helps you to see how your whole view can change by making some small steps and making them an intention.
So what are the benefits of living intentionally? Well, quite honestly, where do I even start? I will list a few key ones that I think will make the biggest impact and will resonate with any Mums that would love to get that spark back again.
Well firstly, you don’t feel like you get to the end of the week so much and just go “oh god, I feel like another week has passed and what have I done with that?” Because you’re setting yourself up, you can clearly look back and the end of the week and say “yeh wow, I’ve done this, and done that” which again builds confidence and momentum.
Whilst you might think this means that you have to find even more time that you don’t have to fit something else in, quite the opposite happens. It actually helps you to see where you have pockets of time that you didn’t see before, and because you use these intentionally, doing something that you’d like to, you then end up feeling much better too.
It also helps you to be more mindful as well. And because you set up what you’d like to do, it helps you to get things out of your head so you’re not spending so much time living from there, because you don’t need to worry about “remembering”. That then means you can be more in the moment with the children, because the other stuff is taken care of.
And your life generally begins to feel more balanced again, which in turn helps you feel like your handling everything much better
Ok, so I have shared the whys behind living intentionally, but I can hear you saying, “That’s great, but how do I make this happen? Especially around everything else that I’m trying to juggle?” Do not worry, I will answer that now.
Ok, so firstly, you need to decide what it is that you are working towards. In my guide I talk about the idea that you wouldn’t get in your car without knowing where you’re going. Well this is the same thing, it can be difficult to set up your intention without knowing what the bigger picture is? By doing this it also helps you to dial down the noise and the overwhelm that you may experience when thinking, “how do i even start?”, or “what do I start with?”. It also helps to strengthen the intentions that you set, making it much more effective. If having some help with this would be useful, or, if like earlier, you are struggling to see past tomorrow at the moment, my free guide can really help overcome those obstacles. You can head to www.personaldevelopmenttime.com, and to the guides and workshops section at the top to access it.
Then, once you have a great idea of this, you simply need to look at how you’d like to set your days up, or even just part of the day and what you would need in order to do this. This then becomes your intention. So for example, each evening before bed I will consider my day tomorrow, and will list a couple of things that I would like to make a focus, as well as have a clear idea as to when I will do those. I am able to do this inline with what’s important to me and my bigger picture because I have mapped that out clearly first. Otherwise, it is just like putting it out there and hoping it will happen. Now of course, just because you’ve gone through the activity of thinking about it and then writing it down, things may still get in the way and you may not always end up doing what you’ve intended to. But, just by being conscious about it, and doing this daily,you will begin to see some changes in no time. So yes, it absolutely goes without saying that there is no guilt to be applied here. Each day will not be a flying success, I can guarantee that, and I know this because I have been there, and also, because that’s life right. But just by being intentional it will have a huge impact. To explain this better, I have been consciously trying to drink more water recently. I set up my intention of drinking 2l. For whatever reason, 2l is something this is actually something that I have struggled to get to, but, by having the intention of the 2l, it encourages me throughout the day to make some better choices to at least get closer than if this wasn’t even on my radar.
Now I know I say all of this like it is super simple, and quite honestly, that is what is really perfect about it. We don’t need anything else complicated in our lives right? Now of course, that doesn’t mean that it is super simple to do every day or to maintain. Like with anything, it is about creating a routine with it, and engraining it as part of our life. It is also worth noting that it will need to evolve as we evolve. But that’s the fun of it.
So, here are some of my top tips to help you along the way:
My first would definitely be to journal this (so get it down on paper and out of your head.) Physically write down what your intention/s are for the next day. You can also journal a little down at the end of the day as to how it has gone for you, anything you have observed or learnt too. I always find this really helpful.
It’s also incredibly important for this to not just become another thing to complete on the to-do list. A good way to ensure this doesn’t happen is to create a connection with it by not only looking at what intention you are looking to create, but also how you would like to feel. By bringing this in, it then changes everything because you’re much more likely to come from a place of wanting to do it. By creating this connection, it also helps to look at your priorities. I look at this in a lot more detail in my free guide, so be sure to head over and download that for further support. Ultimately, there’s no point in any of this becoming a tick box exercise, because this it’s about evoking a feeling and about there being some kind of motivation to keep going and to do it.
Also, if you fall off the wagon and perhaps you stop doing it one night, just get straight back on it the next night. Don’t apply any judgment or guilt. If you just drop it one night, it’s likely it won’t have any impact, but, if you fall off and drop it for a few nights, all week or a few weeks its likely that you’ll find that you’ll struggle to pick it back up again and then it feels like its so much harder. If it does happen, god, it happens to the best of us, it’s certainly happened to me on numerous times. It only takes for the children, or you to be poorly, or some sleepless nights for you to then just lose the control a little bit, but do you know what, that’s ok. Just go back to something that inspires you, listen to this podcast again and be reminded of the basics and how easy it can be to pick it back up, and just go again, perhaps just look at what the learnings are, what made you drop it, and if there is anything that you can do so you don’t do it next time.
So there we are, we’ve looked at how living with intention can make the world of difference to how you feel and can help you to feel like you actually have more time, as well as more balance. And we have created a plan around bringing this in your life, as well as some top tips to make it a success.
So until next time,
sending love, as always
It has been great to connect with you
Thanks for stopping by, I hope that you found it useful. Please feel free to share any comments or questions you have below, and if you have any requests of topics you’d like to hear then I would love to know.